The garden has finally ground its cucumber production to a halt--just in time, too! I now have more jars of pickles than will ever be consumed around here--seriously! I'm wondering if I should even bother to plant them next year....well, maybe just one vine. (I do like fresh cucumbers, after all; and son Seamus can easily eat his own weight in them. Well, we'll see...) I had so many cucumbers that I had to call in the Marines for help!...but I didn't get an answer, so I got the Wonder Hubby instead.
What can I say? The Man knows his way around a knife! Besides, name one project of mine that he doesn't get involved with, sooner or later--Hah! I know you can't!. So after converting the last bunch of cucumbers into the World's Largest Hamburger Dill Chips,
I thought I'd get a breather; 
but NNNOOOOOO, just when I thought it was safe to go back into the garden, tomato production began in earnest. 
G
reat. What the hell am I going to do with all of these? Oh yeah, I can can them, too! Wow! Better roll up my sleeves and get on them, hadn't I? Now, lest you think that a great deal of proper equipment and experience is required for proper canning, allow me to present the Family Canning Plant:
Yup, that's It in all
Its Glory: A pressure canner, two pots, a funnel, a blender (not pictured here) and a buttload of jars and lids. Whoo. How technical can you get? Okay, okay, I admit that I'm being a just a tad sarcastic here, but my point is, this isn't exactly rocket science; and if I can do it, etc. All you really need is the ability to go to Mal-Wart and buy yourself a pressure canner (or borrow one from some slacker) and couple that with your ability to read instructions. (I know you can read, you're here!) Even someone who is not a big fan of pressure cookers can accomplish some good stuff with these basic tools.No, I don't like pressure cookers. We had one blow up on us in Home Ec when I was a kid. (In retrospect, I think I must have had one of the worst Home Ec teachers ever. She didn't seem to want to teach us how to function in our homes so much as she wanted to show us how to land a husband. I was fairly bemused by her attitude, especially since she was divorced. Not exactly an expert in my opinion then and now.) And I have had a small mishap with my pressure canner which did result in minor burns and one terrified redhead, but I've managed to overcome my PTSD and continue my canning experiments, so it can be done. (Get it? "Can" be done? Funny, eh? What? Oh, nevermind!) I would advise that you check your pressure canner every single time you get it out to use it and make sure that everything is nice and tight; and yes, that is personal experience talking. Follow the directions to the letter, and you shouldn't have any problems. I think I'll probably go through a step-by-step in a future entry, today I'm just trying to get myself and you, Gentle Reader, caught up.
So far, I've made one batch of all-purpose tomato sauce, and I'm canning one batch of marinara sauce today. Last year, we froze the stuff, and while I probably will freeze the next batch since it will probably be converted into salsa, I think I'll continue to can the sauces. Tomorrow I'll post my recipes. I expect that I'll get at least four more batches of tomatoes out of the garden even though I have far fewer plants this year than last. It's amazing how much one can accomplish with just a little compost. No, I take that back: If you've ever observed Kansas politicians, then you know how much can be accomplished with a little compost....I think my way is rather more productive, don't you?
Speaking of the garden (Nice segue, Red! You think so? Thanks!), last Saturday I went out there and discovered that we had a tenant:
Isn't she gorgeous? That's a garden spider, or as my dad calls it, a corn spider, or Argiope aurantia, as the biologist in me insists on calling her. Notice the distinctive black and yellow body, and the orange and black legs. You'll know when you have one because they weave a very large, almost perfect web with a very distinctive "zipper" in the very center there. Now this is a wonderful thing to have in your garden because her favorite food just happens to be all those little bugs that delight in chewing to pieces those plants that you have so carefully cultivated. This is a female, and I know that because she is big for a spider around here (they can get up to 3" long including their legs, and why wouldn't you include their legs?) She's a little scary looking, I'll grant you, but since she is absolutely harmless to us human types, I was overjoyed to see her! (My kind of human considers her very good luck, you see. Us tree-hugging dirt-worshippers love them!) When the Wonder Hubby got home from perpetual overtime, I had him take her picture because I suck at taking pictures. He got these results:
And then, for good measure, he named her Artemis, after the Greek Goddess--the Virgin Huntress. I thought this was an exceptionally good name for her, don't you agree? So, we clicked a few pics and then went inside, happy in our newfound visitor.....
Until that evening, when it rained like water pouring out of a bucket! The wind blew a gale, and so much water came down that we still have a lake in the very back of the yard! When I looked out Sunday morning, I saw that Artemis was gone. That upset me greatly because I was afraid she'd drowned or something.
But yesterday morning I went outside and guess what? (What?) I found her tucked in amongst the tomato cages!!
Oh, I did the happy dance of joy, let me tell you! You should have seen me! (I know the neighbors did, but they all think I'm insane anyway!)
So, even though I'm still suffering a bit from cabin fever and the pain medication blues, I gotta tell you that a beautiful spider in your garden and home-grown tomatoes spouting out from your ears can sure go a long way towards soothing your soul!
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